Jonathan Rauch and a handful of other gay-marriage advocates want to believe that same-sex marriage will be part of a revival of marriage. But many other gay-marriage advocates, like Rosie O’Donnell, believe (as the black child she showcases in the first minute of her new HBO documentary, A Family Is A Family Is A Family: A Rosie O’Donnell Celebration, put it): “It doesn’t matter if you have one parent. It doesn’t matter if you have two moms. It doesn’t matter if you have two dads. Just stick with it. A family’s a family.”

It is funny how the new conservative case for gay marriage ends up sounding a lot like the old radical case against preferring any particular family structure because love makes a family.