If you don’t begin your complimentary subscription to National Review – four free issues, no risk, big savings, great deal – we’ll … we’ll … we’ll spread a rumor about you, like … somebody told me that you had a boyfriend who looked like a girlfriend that I had in February of last year. Wait a minute – who put this Killers’ CD on my IPod?! And who deleted all the Sinatra and Louis Prima songs?! Anyway, we wouldn’t really badmouth you, or do anything to harm you, because not having an NR subscription is punishment enough. And because we hate to see you punish yourself so, we encourage you: start your NR introductory subscription, now, here.