“Mr. Derbyshire—I recently read your article on soccer [presumably this one-JD], and

it makes me sick. You think it is a boring sport? You think it lacks the

characteristics that there are in what, BASEBALL??!! All baseball players

do is stand around. Soccer requires the best physical condition, the

ability to see things before they happen, which means you must be smart to

play. It makes me sick to hear someone like you, a nerd who has probably

never played a sport in your life, talk about the greatest sport in the

world like you do. You think American football is more of a sport? All

they do is run a play for 10 seconds, wait another minute, run another

play…. Soccer is non stop fast paced action. And you are way

overexaggerating about the ties. Soccer rules. And you will never get your

damn constitutional amendment to ban it. Soccer is coming to America. It

is getting bigger and bigger, whether you like it or not. Burn in hell,

dickweed.”

Fair comment, I suppose. But what, exactly, is dickweed? I have checked in

my wife’s gardening books, but can find no mention of it.