Yo, Limey, this is the U.S. of A., and we take our rulings from Follett’s

MODERN AMERICAN USAGE.

“Like parallel fifths in harmony, the split infinitive is the one fault that

everybody has heard about and makes a great virtue of avoiding and reproving

in others. Again like the musical bugbear, the split infinitive has its

place in good composition. It should be used when it is expressive and well

led up to. Long before Fowler’s defense of splitting, Shaw had delivered

the controlling opinion: ‘Every good literary craftsman splits his

infinitives when the sense demands it. I call for the immediate dismissal

of the pedant on your staff [who chases split infinitives]. It is of no

consequence whether he decides to go quickly or to quickly go.’

“One fact has not been noted, or if noted, not made enough of: the

temptation to split an infinitive is extremely rare in spoken English,

because the voice supplies the stress needed by the unsplit form or conceals

by a pause the awkwardness of the adverb placed before or after. It is in

written work that splitting is called for, and desk sets should include

small hatchets of silver or gold for the purpose.”

All of which notwithstanding, I have just taken delivery of a custom T-shirt

with the following message printed across the front: BECAUSE I’M THE

OMBUDSMAN, THAT’S WHY.