Changing lives is what I do, Kathryn.

On the other hand:

Reader A: “Mr. Derb—If there is greater evidence that you have no

interest in sports whatsoever, I have yet to see it.”

[Don’t get this. People are doing sport stuff at midnight? Why?]

Reader B: “‘An hour before midnight, etc.’ — My mother used to say that.

You sound like my mother. What’s your policy on picking up after yourself?”

[Firm. Similarly running with scissors, eating greens, putting on snow

boots, etc. And don’t let me catch you picking your nose!]