Last Friday I invited readers to supply the ultimate spam e-mail, with

offers of inkjet cartridges, partnerships in Nigerian business deals,

enhancements to key body parts, etc.

I had around 60 entries to the competition, all of a high standard, but

difficult to judge because of the number of factors to be taken into

consideration. I gave extra points for brevity, credibility, and skilful

use of broken English. The winner is Eric Hardie with the following.

Innocent Saleh Jombo,
Plot 22, Dry Well of Kings Ave,
Bgbuuti Blanco, Lagos.
Dear Friend,
My uncle, Dr Abraham Saleh Jombo, is the Chief Urologist for the Peoples
National Congress. He has developed an all-natural formula for Manhood
enhancement guaranteed to put a Nigerian Nightmare in your dungarees.
Unfortunately, the current civilian government is attempting to seize the
millions of dollars my uncle is making with his Big Jungle John Thomas
formula. This is why I am contacting you in the hopes that you might
establish an account for my uncle’s money so the government may not
confiscate said funds. There is only required a small transfer fee that you
could readily acquire by taking advantage of today’s LOW! LOW! INTEREST
RATES to refinance your home. In most cases no appraisal is necessary just
your good credit. Of course my uncle who is bringing joy to millions with
his Big Jungle JT would pay you a caretakers fee of up to 50% of all
profits. This will come in handy for starting your home-based business
providing HIGH QUALITY INKJET CARTRIDGES & LASER TONER AT DISCOUNT PRICES!
Everything will be over within 7 working days. For reasons best known to me,
as it also affect my office, I have decided to reach you through the
internet until I get your interest indicated. I will give you a confidential
phone and fax numbers for easy communication on the directives.
Runner-up from Joe Huenke, with one of those compositions that make you feel
the writer is not totally in control of his material.
I am Mari Neke Soso, daughter of M. Sese-soko, deposed benevolent ruler of
Congo in Africa. I have just turned 18 & got youre name from a chat room. I
have inherited $14 million dollars when my father was forced to flee my
country. Using this money I have made wise investments & have gotten my
breasts enlarged 2 full cup sizes. I am certain that if you take opportunity
of this exciting opportunity, you too can add 4 inches to your male member,
as this offer will get to free prescription Viagra from Canada with
absoulutley no cost. All I ask is that you send me your bank account number
so that I can rush you FREE color ink jet ink cartridges for CHEAP! This is
a once-in-a-life-time-opportinuty that is waiting for you as am I with my
fun new large breasts. DO NOT DELAY!!

Many thanks to all who participated. First prize is a week at 215 Lexington

Ave. Second prize is TWO weeks…