I see that Caninegate is in full swing, with Jonah naturally falling for another manufactured scientific “consensus” purporting to demonstrate that dogs are better than cats. If you look at the criteria, however, you’ll notice that dogs only edge out cats in the analysis because of the odd inclusion of such variables as the length of time each species has been domesticated (who cares?) and how easy dogs are to bamboozle — I mean train. Cats wear their independence and resistance to tyranny as a badge of honor.

Admittedly, cats also get a questionable point in the analysis for having a smaller carbon footprint. That’s disappointing, given the manifest need for every species to work together to combat global cooling. Perhaps the defect can be rectified in the cat-food manufacturing process. Not their fault, really.

Oh, and big cats roar their disapproval of such shoddy science. Their rivals can only howl.