Dear Reader (and extremely good listeners),
Yes, yes, Obama has managed to cock-up this war kinetic action “time-limited, scope-limited military action.”
In fact, he’s such a killjoy, he’s actually taken the fun out of trying to get rid of Moammar Qaddafi. Moammar Qaddafi!
He’s like a guy trying to seduce a woman while insisting that they partake in “kinetic sexual activity” as per the guidelines of the campus committee on romantic congress. (Actually, I think “Kinetic Military Action” is what Bill Murray got in that chest at General Barnicke’s house in Stripes.).
Still, I worry that the Right’s reaction may come back to haunt us. First of all, it’s quite possible that Qaddafi is gone inside a couple weeks (I’m not saying it’s likely, just that it is well within the realm of possibility). All of the protests about the lack of a rationale, the failure to get congressional approval, the subordination of our national security to the U.N., etc., could seem tinny and small if this ends well and relatively quickly.
Obviously, that alone doesn’t detract from the merits of many (though not all) criticisms. But does the Right really want to erase the commander-in-chief’s prerogative to take out mad dogs like Moammar when the opportunity arises? I mean, this isn’t like taking out some African dictator. Qaddafi’s crimes against the U.S. are well known. And there should be no statute of limitations for them. Do we really want to forgive and forget all of that?
To listen to some of my friends, the answer seems to be, “Yes.”
But I’m not so sure this is all about spiting Obama. I think some of us may be exhibiting a delayed backlash against the Iraq War and exhaustion with the Afghan conflict. The Right tolerated mistakes, misjudgments, and staggering military expenditures under Bush in pursuit of a vastly more ambitious agenda. Now, when Obama undertakes a considerably more modest undertaking – albeit in a decidedly annoying and incoherent fashion – many conservatives shout “Enough!”
As I’ve written many times, I think something similar explains the tea parties. They, too, are a kind of delayed Bush backlash. But there’s a key difference. Yes, Bush was a big spender and an expander of government, but he was a piker compared to Obama. To mirror what he has done on the domestic front, Obama would need to be announcing a full-scale invasion of Australia.
Beware the Hypocrisy Trap
There’s a natural tendency in politics to adopt your opponents’ lowest standards as your own. For example, the Left has spent much of the last decade insisting that conservatives are sleazy, slanderous, dishonest, and mercenary and then — often in the same breath — they’ll say liberals need to adopt the very same tactics. Recently, many folks on the right have been sounding very similar. We need to use Alinskyite methods to fight the Alinskyites!
This, in a nutshell, is the hypocrisy trap. Yes, liberals are hypocrites for notshouting “Chickenhawk!” at Obama. But conservatives would be just as hypocritical for shouting “Chickenhawk!” at Obama. More to the point, the argument over the proper application of the term “chickenhawk” completely leaves out the question of whether the underlying policy was wrong or right. FDR was a chickenhawk, World War II was good policy. Remember?
Again, it is very difficult to make this point about Obama’s policy because it is entirely unclear that he has one. But amidst all of the shouting, it’s worth keeping in mind.
The Big If
Now, all of that is completely moot and stupid if the real goal of this enterprise doesn’t involve killing or exiling Qaddafi. If we don’t get rid of him, it will be a colossal error for which we will pay a terrible price for years to come. On this I am totally with Adam Garfinkle:
As I have said, a Qaddafi left armed and dangerous when the dust settles is an unacceptable outcome. Civilian planes will likely start failing out the sky, as did the one over Lockerbie; assassination attempts will multiply, like the attempted Libyan-backed murder of the Saudi king in 2003; al-Qaeda and affiliates might be aided and abetted to do Lord-knows-what to the Italians, the French, the British and, of course, to us. With nothing to lose, and way beyond the threshold of worrying about sanctions and such, Qaddafi could well become more dangerous than ever. If I were Silvio Berlusconi, in particular, I’d pick my future whorehouses with extreme care.
The only thing I think Garfinkle gets wrong here is the bit about Berlusconi’s whorehouses. I’m pretty sure, he gets his whores delivered (and in 30 minutes or less or his first [expletive deleted] is free).
Grey in L.A.
In case you hadn’t noticed, I have returned from Los Angeles after nearly two weeks. I was there for a Liberty Fund conference at the beginning, some off-the-grid work on my book in the middle, and a family vacation at the end (when my womenfolk flew out). The family vacation part was undermined, but not ruined, by terrible weather and hideous lines at Six Flags.
I have to say (“Do you really ‘have’ to say it, or are you just too lazy to come up with a more self-confident intro?” – The Couch) that L.A. has grown on me.
As a born and bred New Yorker and passionate fan of urban walking, I will never fully come to terms with a city that was designed to be hostile to bipedalism and perambulation.
Indeed, one thing that really amazes me is that Los Angeles is far, far more hostile to walking than it is to smoking. There are places to smoke all over, including cigars, as I discovered. And there are smokers all over. But tell someone that you’re going to walk to dinner and they look at you like you just admitted there’s a body of a dead clown in your trunk.
Peeing with the Stars
While I did a little hobnobbing with a few famous names I cannot drop, the more amusing thing was to see all of the TV and movie folks walking around in everyday life. It was like my life was a peripatetic version of The Love Boat,Cannonball Run, or Hollywood Squares.
One morning, at the Farmer’s Market, I worked at a table next to the regulars, who included George Segal and Paul Mazursky. There was also that really nasally Jewish comic (“Yeah, that really narrows it down!” – The Couch) who’s appeared on a zillion sitcoms whose name I can’t remember. At the Apple Store at the Grove I saw Jere Burns asking about the new iPad. And then, of course, there was the time when I was three urinals over from Hank Azaria at the movie theater. We were both there to see Battle: L.A. I didn’t strike up a conversation, because I’m not a chat-by-the-urinal kind of guy. But still, it was obviously a special moment for both of us.
Quick Movie Minute
As I said, I saw Battle: L.A. It was good, not great (though the wildly pro-Marine themes were nice to see). They successfully wove together a massive number of alien and war movie clichés into a coherent whole that was larger than the sum of its clichés. I want to avoid spoilers, but I do wish they could have done without the bit where the aliens are vastly more advanced, have the benefit of surprise and the advantages that come with being utterly remorseless, and yet can be defeated with a single maneuver. (“I thought you said you wanted to avoid spoilers?” — The Couch.) The problem here, as with Independence Day, is that it makes remotely plausible sequels problematic. It’s also stupid.
Movie Minute II
I also went to see Mars Needs Moms with my daughter. It was pretty bad. The biggest problem wasn’t the script, which could have been perfectly fine. Rather, the movie was a perfect illustration of the uncanny-valley problem. For those of you who don’t know about the uncanny-valley problem, in a nutshell it’s this: The more authentic artificial representations of human life get, the creepier they become. This, for example, explains why we naturally throw up a little in our mouths when we see Al Gore try to act “normal.”
You can read more about the uncanny valley here, or watch this excellent synopsis from 30 Rock using porn video games and Star Wars as examples.
In Mars Needs Moms, the humans are lifelike enough to really bum you out, particularly one dude who gives off a severe pederast vibe. My daughter disliked it for numerous reasons, not least the fact that one mom actually dies in the movie. And, believe it or not, my eight-year-old little girl doesn’t like that sort of thing. The whole movie had a really serious tone and atmosphere problem that I think could have been largely solved with Pixar-style animation. This is a point Al Gore’s advisers have been making for years, but he won’t listen.
Movie Minute III
I also rented The Proposition on iTunes. It’s an Aussie Western and I thought it was very good. (Warning: It’s pretty bloody) It could have used ten percent more exposition. But all in all, it was very well done. Perhaps the most impressive part – aside from the acting and the writing – is the way the director managed to work real flies into almost every scene and got the actors to, er, act as if they were used to flies crawling over their faces.
Speaking of Flies
Who among us can forget that scene in Indiana Jones where Belloq eats a fly? Oh. I guess a lot of you can forget.
Announcements
Culver’s, Here I Come. I will be speaking in Minnesota – Minneapolis to be specific – on April 11 for my pals at CFact. Details to come, but I hope folks in the area can make it.
Tune in. This Tuesday I’m doing something I’ve never tried (I typed that with my foot on the Couch’s throat to avoid it saying something unkind). I’m going to host a radio show here in D.C. The morning show on WMAL’s “Morning Majority” (formerly “The Grandy Group”) from 5 to 9 a.m. I’ve always wanted to try this sort of thing, but I’ve turned down opportunities in the past. I’m a little vexed by the fact that I have to be there so early in the morning (pre-show meeting is at 3:45), and by the fact I’ll have no idea what I’m doing. But I’m a general believer that being afraid of something is not, in itself, a good reason not to do something. Stay tuned, as it were.
Biden Rails On. Here’s my Friday column on that lovable crazy neighbor in the vice president’s house.
You say it was your birthday! If you forgot to send me a shoebox full of cash, or something similar, there’s still time. (If you’d prefer to launder that cash through something more legitimate, like a speaking gig, please contact Keppler Speakers.)
A present for you! Meanwhile, here is a pile of Stuff from Debby from March 14, which I’m only now getting around to running.
What Pi Sounds Like. (Today is Pi Day.)
Gallery of Decorated Gas Tanks.
How to Make a Laser From a Gin and Tonic.
Five things you never knew about Pac-Man.
Science headline of the day. Maybe this will fix the problem.
Evolving Surface of a 3D Fractal.
In international-arms-sales news, Lockheed Martin Tried to Trade F-16s for Frozen Chickens.
Export hopes for urine-boiled eggs.
Recreating the flying house from Up in real life.
Car Crash Victim Sues Paramedic Who Stole His Foot.
Waiting to pee can help you make better decisions, study finds.