Jerry’s Kid

IF you go to Jerry Springer’s website, you will see this: “Click on the image to view Jerry’s message of hope and inclusion as he does battle against elitists who think Middle America is populated with ‘slack-jawed yokels, hicks, weirdos, pervs, and whatnot.'”

Alas, if you were hoping Jerry Springer’s “‘battle” with elitists might take the form of strippers fighting by proxy in creamed corn—not an unreasonable hope—you’ll be disappointed. If you click on his message, all you’ll find is the sort of civics lesson you might expect from a student-body vice president at a junior college, full of gobbledygook about the glories of mandatory voting and the need for health insurance and so on. But before you can say, “infomercial boring . . . losing consciousness,” you discover that Jerry’s battle with “elitists” is deceitfully pluralized. Because he’s really only doing battle with me.

About the Author

Jonah Goldberg

Jonah Goldberg is a National Review contributing editor.

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IF you go to Jerry Springer’s website, you will see this: “Click on the image to view Jerry’s message of hope and inclusion as he does battle against elitists who think Middle America is populated with ‘slack-jawed yokels, hicks, weirdos, pervs, and whatnot.'”

Alas, if you were hoping Jerry Springer’s “‘battle” with elitists might take the form of strippers fighting by proxy in creamed corn—not an unreasonable hope—you’ll be disappointed. If you click on his message, all you’ll find is the sort of civics lesson you might expect from a student-body vice president at a junior college, full of gobbledygook about the glories of mandatory voting and the need for health insurance and so on. But before you can say, “infomercial boring . . . losing consciousness,” you discover that Jerry’s battle with “elitists” is deceitfully pluralized. Because he’s really only doing battle with me.