The Bent Pin

IN keeping with the provisions of the No Columnist Left Behind Act, herewith my thoughts on Election 2008 . . .

Did you know it’s entirely possible to drink a whole bottle of vodka a day with no hangover or other ill effects if you use milk as a mixer? I did it the last week of the campaign. I don’t know what size the bottles were because I don’t understand these new foreign measurements they use now, but they were whole bottles and I polished them off. My doctor was alarmed. “Don’t worry,” I said, “it was skim milk.”