Dear Residents of Whoville:

By now, you’ve probably noticed that the various gifts and decorations you associate with your holiday have been removed during the night.

I don’t expect that this discovery has made you “happy” — whatever that word may mean to you in your privileged taxonomy — and you may regret the lack of “Christmas spirit” that is now evident in Whoville, but I assure you that, from my vantage point, here atop what you all call, with utter disregard for my pain, “Grinch Mountain,” this day is just the beginning.