The Straggler: Count Me Out

I TOOK against the census form right away. It arrived with the lunchtime mail on a day when I was even more behind than usual with writing assignments. THE AMERICAN COMMUNITY SURVEY, it declared itself at the head of Page 1 of 24, every page dense with text and boxes to be filled out or checked.

A covering letter signed by one Charles Louis Kincannon, Director, U.S. Census Bureau, explained that this survey “collects critical up-to-date information used to meet the needs of communities across the United States. For example, results from this survey are used to decide where new schools, hospitals and fire stations are needed.” Isn’t this the kind of thing that American communities have traditionally decided for themselves? What business is it of Uncle Sam where my suburban township locates its fire station? And doesn’t American English prefer “firehouse” to “fire station,” actually? After a moment or two of cogitation, I threw the thing in the trash.

About the Author

John Derbyshire

Mr. Derbyshire is a former contributing editor of National Review.

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I TOOK against the census form right away. It arrived with the lunchtime mail on a day when I was even more behind than usual with writing assignments. THE AMERICAN COMMUNITY SURVEY, it declared itself at the head of Page 1 of 24, every page dense with text and boxes to be filled out or checked.

A covering letter signed by one Charles Louis Kincannon, Director, U.S. Census Bureau, explained that this survey “collects critical up-to-date information used to meet the needs of communities across the United States. For example, results from this survey are used to decide where new schools, hospitals and fire stations are needed.” Isn’t this the kind of thing that American communities have traditionally decided for themselves? What business is it of Uncle Sam where my suburban township locates its fire station? And doesn’t American English prefer “firehouse” to “fire station,” actually? After a moment or two of cogitation, I threw the thing in the trash.