Rodney Dangerfield, the late comedian famous for his “No Respect” routine, used to do a bit in his act about how to deal with the awkwardness of the morning after a one-night stand. A guy wants to get out of there as fast as he can, but he doesn’t want to look like he wants to get out of there.
According to Dangerfield, his method was foolproof. You simply turn to the young lady and say, in your best romantic voice, the following: “You know what’s great about today? It’s Wednesday. I don’t work on Wednesdays, so I can take the whole day off. You and me, babe, are going out to a simple coffee shop for a classic New York breakfast. Then, we’re going to stroll Fifth Avenue, go shopping, go to Tiffany’s, go to Saks, we’ll buy you something special. After that, a romantic lunch at the Boat House in Central Park, with pink champagne. And a stroll though the park hand in hand, in the afternoon as the sun dapples the leaves and the light turns golden. Then we’ll have a quiet drink at the Oak Bar in the Plaza, and then to the Rainbow Room for champagne and dancing, and then to a little dive I know downtown for a romantic late dinner. How does that sound?”
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