Denver — The Weed Man has emerged from the shadows, he has come out from the seedy backrooms and dank basement apartments, and he is all up in the Chamber of Commerce. The Weed Man has acquired himself a suit, a tie, and a marketing department. Drive down I-70 in Denver and you’ll see those Good Samaritan highway-beautification signs sponsored by Metro Cannabis, along with signs for Green Solutions, “Colorado’s #1 Marijuana Dispensary!” and Grow Big Supply, a purveyor of hydroponic agricultural goods, which is advertising an “industry mixer,” a good old-fashioned vendor-networking, business-card-swapping event for major-league pro potheads, culturally speaking an event one step removed from a Rotary luncheon, even if the evening does have the astrologically inevitable Bob Marley theme: “Grow Big Supply is proud to present Reggae Night, the first Thursday of every month from 6 to 10 p.m. Each month we serve different hand-crafted cocktails, a variety of foods, live music, and, of course, the Grow Big Go-Go girls.” The Weed Man may not have much of an imagination, but your local Masonic temple or Elks lodge probably doesn’t have a squadron of go-go girls, which is why freemasonry and Elkery are moribund but the future of marijuana, weed, hash, Kush, kind, sticky, nugs, cheeba, Cambodian red, fluffy yellow hydroponic blossoms from parts unknown, edibles, Dixie Elixirs Premium Marijuana-Infused Products, cannabis-extraction machines with the heat provided by CO2 instead of butane because we’re all a bit concerned about neural hypoxia, THC-bearing chocolates and caramels and Keef Kat bars and Rasta Reese’s ganja-packed peanut-butter cups, terrifyingly clinical-looking syringes for the sublingual delivery of concentrated cannabis extract, cannabutter and Taboo Confections Lemon Shortbread Tarts (“Keep Out of Reach of Children”) and Baked brand confections and a hundred thousand resplendently sumptuous variations on the theme of “C12H22O11+ C21H30O2” is bright, bright, bright indeed.
Come, come shelter under the sign of the glowing green cross.
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