Learning to Love Chernenko

I am beginning to like Konstantin Ustinovich Chernenko. Whether liking will ripen into love, only time can tell. Meanwhile, there are so many points in his favor, it is hard to know where to begin, but here goes:

—His face. With the high cheekbones of the Mongolian hordes, it symbolizes menace from the East. Has been known to smile, but the event is rare and the effect unfriendly.