Keeping Our Cool

If you were around for the Bicentennial, you remember how forced it felt. There was something desperate about the festivities, something chintzy and cheesy. Hoorah for us, all things considered! Look, old tall ships in the harbor! Disco versions of the national anthem! Let’s have a party where we unconvincingly repress the vestigial trauma of Vietnam and the gathering malaise of national decline! Did we mention the tall ships?

Now we’re at it again. What is this, the Sesquidepcentennial? Dosidocentennial? Let’s just say 250th. No matter what you call it, a large percentage of the country will say there’s nothing to celebrate.