Did you hear? Scott Walker wanted to prohibit the University of Wisconsin from reporting sexual assaults to the federal government. The news ricocheted around the Internet for a few hours until someone pointed out it wasn’t quite so. The university itself said it had requested the elision for reasons of redundancy, and also repetition. No matter: If Walker was a Rethuglican, the story meant he wanted campus rapists to be loaded onto gilded litters and borne around the school, preferably by frat boys in blackface.
Even if it was false, it’s kinda true, no? The credulous believe the GOP would like all colleges, workplaces, athletic clubs, golf courses, and possibly shopping malls converted into places of untrammeled priapic perfidy. After all, if you oppose forcing nuns to pay for someone’s birth control, it stands to reason you want all women to be chained barefoot to a stove. Not reporting campus sexual-assault statistics to the federal government is practically a green light to the frat boys to stock up on duct tape and clear out a space in the attic for a thin mattress.
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