Somewhere in Utah — I’m about ten miles away from being ten miles away from anything, and wondering whether I should turn back. In the rearview mirror is the latest in a series of Violators Will Be Prosecuted signs, and I’m not dressed for prison — although, if we’re being candid, this seems like one of those shoot-first-invoke-the-law-later kind of places. I can hear Sam Elliott, deadpan: “I swear, Officer, I thought he was a waterfowl.”
“Here,” if it helps, is 60 miles north-northwest of downtown Salt Lake City as the crow flies, if the crow flew here, which it doesn’t; it’s primarily the aforementioned waterfowl — plovers and pipers and other assorted types of shorebird, and Pink Floyd, the Chilean flamingo who broke out of a local aviary in 1987 and, after several years spent enjoying brine shrimp au naturel, was last seen vacationing in Idaho in 2005.
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