Golden Oligarchy

The world is a curious place where coincidences abound, but there’s something suspicious about the timing here: As relations between the West and Russia curdle and rot, McDonald’s restaurants are being closed in Russia over “health concerns.”

You ask: Is it because of the superior standards of the Russian diet, which has enabled the menfolk to live to the ripe and golden age of 64? Why, that’s four more years than the last czar got, although his diet at the end was mostly lead.