The Misanthrope’s Corner

BE forewarned: I’m in a foul mood. America has gotten to me again.

I’m sick of “choices.” If one more corporate entity offers me a “choice” between this plan and that plan, I’m going to take to the woods like Thoreau. I don’t want to be a “savvy consumer,” I don’t want to “shop around,” I don’t want to “do my homework.” I don’t want to be bothered counting up “smart minutes,” “bonus hours,” and “saver miles.” I don’t want rebates, whether in-store or mail-in, and I don’t want extended warranties, because that means enduring the clerk’s painful memorized recitation. I just want to buy what I need as quickly and simply as possible and then leave. The only discount I’m interested in is the one that was traditionally offered for paying cash, but just try and find it today. It’s the only savvy consumer option nobody has ever heard of. If you want to pay cash now, they think you’re a drug dealer.

About the Author

Florence King

Florence King was a contributing editor of National Review.

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BE forewarned: I’m in a foul mood. America has gotten to me again.

I’m sick of “choices.” If one more corporate entity offers me a “choice” between this plan and that plan, I’m going to take to the woods like Thoreau. I don’t want to be a “savvy consumer,” I don’t want to “shop around,” I don’t want to “do my homework.” I don’t want to be bothered counting up “smart minutes,” “bonus hours,” and “saver miles.” I don’t want rebates, whether in-store or mail-in, and I don’t want extended warranties, because that means enduring the clerk’s painful memorized recitation. I just want to buy what I need as quickly and simply as possible and then leave. The only discount I’m interested in is the one that was traditionally offered for paying cash, but just try and find it today. It’s the only savvy consumer option nobody has ever heard of. If you want to pay cash now, they think you’re a drug dealer.