This post yesterday has elicited a very large amount of anger at me from people who have this classic tune stuck in their head. But a few people sent me reworked lyrics, at my request. Here’s the winner, so far:

Mmm mm-mmmm-mm
Mmm mm-mmmm-mm
Indiana wants me
Lord, I can’t go back there
There’s no quor’m without me
Lord, I can’t go back there
I wish I had you to talk to
If a cause ever needed dyin’, that one did
No man had the right to the pay that they did – not me or you
And it’s so cold and lonely here in Rockford
And the rule of law’s a-comin’
I’m scared and so tired of runnin’
Indiana wants me
Lord, I can’t go back there
There’s no quor’m without me
Lord, I can’t go back there
I wish I had you to talk to
It hurts to see the man that I’ve become
Knowin’ the sun’ll shine only on a right to work Hoosier-land
I’ll never see inflated salaries or benefits
If just once more I could see
Our little sinecures — oh so cushy
Indiana wants me
Lord, I can’t go back there
Indiana wants me
Lord, I can’t go back there
{police sirens}
I wish I had you to talk to
I hope this letter finds its way to you
Forgive me, unions, for the shame I put you through — and all the tears
Hang on, unions, to the windfalls of those happy years
Red lights are flashin’ around me
Oh, Man, it looks like they found me
Indiana wants me
Lord, I can’t go back there
Indiana wants me
Lord, I can’t go back there
I wish I had you to talk to
Indiana wants me (this is the police, you are surrounded)
Lord, I can’t go back there (give yourself up)
Indiana wants me (this is the police, give yourself up)
Lord, I can’t go back there (you are surrounded)
{shoot-out sound effects}

Meanwhile, a bonus track! The “All Along the Clock Tower” remix.