April 19, 1775, Lexington, Mass.:
“Brian, as you can see behind me, there are skirmishes here and there — powder of some sort that is continually rising up in some sort of plume — and as you can see some of the military personnel that are on duty here behind me — can we get a shot of this? — as you can see they are bringing what look like small rye-bread dinner rolls to the men and women in uniform behind me — okay, I’m getting word now that it’s just men right now, just men, repeat: I have confirmation that only men are currently engaged in the violent exchanges now taking place between the American forces representing what we might call the “tea party” wing of the political spectrum and the British forces representing the international order and — excuse me, to clarify, those are not dinner rolls, as I misspoke earlier, those are I can now confirm small cannon-type ball-objects, used in military events of this sort as a kind of flying airborne weapon that is projected from one side onto another in a violent fashion. As you can see, the cannon-projected spheres are flying through the air, which is thick with a kind of white airborne particulate, it’s hard to breathe, Brian, so I’m going to head back behind the lines of one or both of the opposing sides in this skirmish to get more details. One thing is certain, Brian: It’s going to be a long morning here in Lexington, Massachusetts.”
Comments