05.11.2021
Single&LookinginRedmond: Hey! Cool! We’re a match according to the algorithm that Tinder is currently iterating on. My guess is that we’re less a quote unquote match and more of what you might call an intersection or alignment of several taxonometric categories that Tinder continues to refine.
SkaterGurl: U know a lot about computers, huh lol.
Single&LookinginRedmond: Yeah, sorry! Nerd here! It’s sort of been my career for a while. I started a company that pretty much defined the software business and I’m just now trying to make some changes in my life, but it’s hard, especially when I’m using a lot of technology I never used before but in a way invented. Do you know what I mean?
SkaterGurl: brb lol
Single&LookinginRedmond: Hello?
Single&LookinginRedmond: Hello?
Single&LookinginRedmond: Still there?
Single&LookinginRedmond: Question: are you vaccinated?
Single&LookinginRedmond: Hello?
05.12.2021
Single&LookinginRedmond: Hey there! Tinder says we matched! I’m a Washington native, been living in Redmond for a long time, business owner in the tech field, love to travel and play bridge and think about public health. Tell me about yourself!
Divorced&Casual: Hi. Nice to meet you. Divorced here, with three kids (2 in college) and just dipping my toe into the dating scene again after a relationship.
Single&LookinginRedmond: Seriously? Me too!
Divorced&Casual: Wow, okay. What is your job?
Single&LookinginRedmond: I’m sort of retired at this point. Spending a lot of time volunteering and things like that.
Divorced&Casual: You have no job then?
Single&LookinginRedmond: Well, I mean, I had a job for many years and continue to be involved in the company I started in the software and computing business.
Divorced&Casual: Yeah look you either have a job or you don’t.
Single&LookinginRedmond: It’s a little more complicated than that.
Divorced&Casual: No offense but we’re not a match. You seem flakey and unemployed and I’ve pretty much had it with unreliable and always-broke guys like you. I’m looking for stable and normal and EMPLOYED. Sorry.
05.15.2021
Single&LookinginRedmond: Hi. It seems we matched. I’m Bill. Just out of a long-term relationship and looking for something casual. What about you?
CheesecakeFactoryGirl: Nice pics. Cute glasses.
Single&LookinginRedmond: Thanks!
CheesecakeFactoryGirl: Are they vintage?
Single&LookinginRedmond: Um, I guess technically they are. I’ve had them since 1987.
CheesecakeFactoryGirl: That’s cool ha ha I was born that year LOL.
Single&LookinginRedmond: Oh. I’m sorry.
CheesecakeFactoryGirl: No it’s cool it’s cool jk was just showing ur pic to my friend and we both think ur hot but u seem like ur a math teacher which is cool.
Single&LookinginRedmond: I guess I’m sort of like a math teacher. I’m in the computer software business. What do you do?
CheesecakeFactoryGirl: I work at the Cheesecake Factory.
Single&LookinginRedmond: That sounds very interesting. Is it a large facility? Do you make many cheesecakes a day?
CheesecakeFactoryGirl: WTH?
Single&LookinginRedmond: I’m just wondering how a factory of that kind works. When I was running a large computer company we tried to help businesses such as that with software to make inventory and financial management more efficient.
CheesecakeFactoryGirl: It’s not a factory LOL.
Single&LookinginRedmond: It’s not?
CheesecakeFactoryGirl: You’ve never been to a Cheesecake Factory??? Sorry too weird for me getting creepy vibes bye
05.19.2021
Single&LookinginRedmond: Hey! We just matched on Tinder. Separated here, looking for something casual and NSA but open to LTR.
[. . .]
Single&LookinginRedmond:
05.21.2021
Single&LookinginRedmond: Hey! Thanks for the “super like” on Tinder! I don’t really know what that is, but thanks for the blue star! A little about me: I’m a fiftysomething ex-tech executive in Redmond, new to the single life, looking to meet up with special ladies who are interested in travel and current events.
MelinWash: Hi Bill. It’s Melinda. I super-liked you so that I could tell you to get off Tinder.
Single&LookinginRedmond: Oh. I thought I recognized the view from the gazebo.
MelinWash: I’d really prefer it if you got off Tinder. It’s just awkward knowing you’re on here, too.
Single&LookinginRedmond: No way. I’m doing really well on this thing. Makes me wish we had come up with a phone device rather than the Zune, to be honest.
MelinWash: It’s ridiculous. And you’re not “fiftysomething.”
Single&LookinginRedmond: For your information the Tinder community is responding well to my profile. And as you noticed, I am not using my real name. People who like me on this like me for me. And also, age is just a number, okay?
MelinWash: Fine. Whatever. Feel free to make a fool of yourself. I’m doing better on Bumble anyway.
Single&LookinginRedmond: Me too, actually. If you see me there, please just be cool. DO NOT need my ex messing up my game with the shawties.
MelinWash: SMDH
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